Why do we hate other people’s opinions?

David Byrne
Instead of hating other people’s opinions, it is better to learn more about the origin of our beliefs. In today’s busy world, it often happens that we hear something and say to ourselves: “God, how could anyone have such an opinion?” We meet people whose beliefs make us angry, sad or laugh and we think we have nothing in common with them.
A few years ago, the social psychologist, Jonathan Hight, in the book The Righteous Mind, stated that there are six basic moral values ​​and the importance of each of them determines our behavior. I find them a really effective tool for understanding people who have a different perspective than my own. These tools help me not feel superior. They let me imagine what others think and why they believe what they believe; Because we really share many of the same values.

These values ​​(and their opposite point) are as follows:
1. Caring/Injury: We are all family and we should be kind to others as much as we can. Suffering, if possible, must be eliminated.
*2. Fairness/fraud: * Society should try to be fair. Justice should be the same for everyone. Hand in hand is better than oppression. On the other side of the coin, there are fraudsters and swindlers who should be punished.
3. Loyalty/Betrayal: Loyalty to family, community, group, business and nation is vital for every person. This is the force that prevents collapse.
4. Authority/Subversion: People must respect the law, whether they agree with it or not. It is our collective agreement to follow the social and legal institutions that make us a society.
5. Chastity/humiliation: Chastity, moderation, restraint and gentleness make our world stable. Certain behaviors are unethical and should be avoided.
*6. Freedom/Dominion: * People should be allowed to express, think and behave freely as long as it does not harm others.

○For example, if I were someone who highly valued care and fairness, I would probably be in favor of laws that said everyone, regardless of their personal beliefs, should treat gay, bisexual, and trans people as citizens with equal rights. But those who have placed sanctity higher than care and fairness in their hierarchy of values, probably feel that homosexuality is “unnatural” and considered an “insult” to sanctity, so the need for equality disappears.

As we have seen recently, some people believe that mask regulations are a violation of their personal freedom. They feel that their individual rights (freedom) are superior to the rights of the larger community, while I value cooperation and collective health (care). Not that I think being free is wrong, but I think that, in certain circumstances, maybe those values ​​should be set aside in the public interest.

□ Maybe I feel that in order to challenge unfair rules, sometimes you have to break them (fairness). Others will disagree and say: “The law is the law” (authority). Many Americans believe that free speech is an unconditional right (liberty) and if someone is hurt, offended, or feels wronged by what I say, well, that’s the price of freedom. Usually, I also believe in this value, but I do not consider it an unconditional right; That is, in cases where the intention is to harm and cause violence, in my opinion, freedom of speech should be restrained (care and fairness). The point is that I value all these values.

This issue raises an important point. The principle that all our various beliefs originate from these six values ​​does not mean that all of these beliefs are equally important, or even important at all. Eminence of some values ​​- such as sanctity, race or motherland, in the next example – may justify inhumane behavior.

○Adam Gopnik, in a New Yorker article about the Nazi “Angel of Death,” Josef Mengele, writes: “The evil of the educated is not at all surprising, yet it is strange to see how delicately they put together seemingly valid reasons and self-made justifications. And they build a logic that allows them to do such actions, to the point where they can look at themselves in the mirror every morning like Mengele and say congratulations.

My point is, we should not forgive and ignore behaviors that cause harm to others; We just have to try to understand why they happen and the mechanisms used to justify them. Hannah Arendt, when accused of justifying the actions of the Nazis, said: “Understanding is not condoning and ignoring.”

And what does all this tell us? It tells us that maybe I have some kind of disagreement with others on certain issues, but these disagreements are rooted in the values ​​that we share, whether we like it or not. Our beliefs and policies may be very different, but again, by knowing the values ​​behind these beliefs, I can empathize with others to some extent and understand why they feel different from me on some issues. This tool helps me not judge others as uneducated or bad people and provides context and a starting point for a conversation.